100 Words Per Mile: Nothing Matters

Liberty, nihilism, and the horrors of being vulnerable—even when it's vital.

September 12, 2020

5.02 miles

39:12

This feels delicate, and I want to choose the words that match what I mean to say. I am a strong advocate for a woman’s right to choose (what else is there to be as a man?)—but the miscarriage did affect my views on abortion in some ways. It would make me wildly uncomfortable to tell my wife what to do with her body, and if circumstances were so, I’d never resent her for making a decision she felt was best for her. But the miscarriage hurt. It really hurt.

So, I’m not immune to the softer arguments for life. Especially since that hurt was caused by losing what was by all definitions of the word, still an embryo.

In the end, when I consider the idea of liberty, it means nobody owes anyone anything. A woman who finds herself pregnant, who knows herself as only she can, and knows motherhood is not the right path for her, is not a woman who owes me anything. My struggle, my pain, my burden is only mine to bear. But again, I can’t emphasize how much the miscarriage hurt.