100 Words Per Mile: Letting Go of Anger

My brother calls me from jail while I run.

January 9, 2022
7.00 miles
56:17

I thought this project was going to feed me creatively, but it really hasn’t. There are other factors, of course, such as fatherhood and the frequency with which I’m running. But I’m still a little surprised I haven’t written more fiction. I have a novel in process, story ideas, and a young adult thing I’ve been tinkering with. I’m just missing the passion for all of them.

My baby brother and I’ve been speaking a little more regularly lately. I’ve figured out how to keep money in my Connect Network account so that there are no barriers when he calls. We’ve even managed to video chat a couple times, but that’s a lot less reliable. He’s almost two months into his sentence, and the difference in his voice and his skin is almost unbelievable. We’re able to have conversations, the kind that pass without any dead air, and I’m just so happy that he’s in a situation in which he’s getting better, even if that situation is jail.

Sometimes, he calls me on my runs, and we talk as I huff and puff in his ears. Fortunately, training is all about finding a rhythm, of getting my heart rate up, but steady. He laughs when I complain about the blister on my foot. He doesn’t understand why I don’t just stop, nor does he understand the irony of his own words.

Earlier in this project, I made a comment about my brother’s sentencing, that this was the “punch in the face” he needed from life. Well, he was recently punched in the face by another inmate, a disagreement over a card game or something like that. This was all told to me through the family grape vine. That’s why I answered on my run today, because I knew he needed me. He wasn’t allowed to talk about it, but he told me that he was okay and that he was glad I was able to make the time to chat with him.