100 Words Per Mile: Am I a Psycho?

I want to feel my body rage against my spirit. I want to fight myself—and I want to win.

September 25, 2021
6.93 miles
1:05:35

Today I ran with Bill and his seven-month-old daughter. He has this jogging stroller and since she’s old enough to hold her own head up, we were able to go on a three-mile loop with her as our pace car.

When Bill and I run, it’s usually early, around eight in the morning. He lives near the beach, and that perfect mix of coffee, morning light, and cool air seemed to overwhelm me all at once. As we ran with the baby, Bill told me about the ultramarathon he’d just run in North Carolina. It sounded exhausting and exhilarating all at once. I’ve been collecting a personal philosophy (nothing new or revolutionary, I’m sure) built around reminding ourselves we are physical creatures. It all leads back to this same idea of staying within oneself, but because a phrase or idea is often repeated doesn’t mean it will click for everyone who hears it.

It took me almost thirty years to make sense of “you can’t have your cake and eat it, too.” I mean, if you have cake, why wouldn’t you eat it? That’s the entire point of cake.

What they actually mean is, “you can’t eat your cake, and continue to have cake, because you’ve already eaten it.” I maintain it’s a stupid and nonsensical phrase.

But I digress.